Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize