Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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