Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Farmville is her only friend.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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