dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
