Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
should my penis look like a turkey
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
