no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
