Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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