nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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