yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
