You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
