She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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