I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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