his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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