would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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