He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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