i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
