And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize