just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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