You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
