what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
