All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
