I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
