Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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