My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
