Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
