So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
