I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
In America we eat man semen.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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