he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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