Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
