so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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