I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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