I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
