Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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