This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
