never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Who died my cat blue again?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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