I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
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