i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
