Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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