So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
