I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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