yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
