if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
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Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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