Got a toothbrush?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
