So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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