I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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