i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
