I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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