Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize