so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
