She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
