It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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