I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize