Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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