The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
