Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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