my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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