I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
