Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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