So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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