I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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