I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
