I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
