I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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